So Much Lost to You

March 22- #wcw- Dear Amanda, I thought a lot about you today. It was a tough day for Dad and me. They're all tough, but today was tougher than others. And, I don't know why, sometimes I do, but not today. Maybe it's the 22, maybe it's the daffodils or the green grass, or the spring colors; maybe it's just missing you. I baked cookies tonight and couldn't help but think, you will never get to do that for your family, for anyone. You will never wear the cool apron or use the mixer and bowls you were given as shower gifts. I know you couldn't wait to use the hand thrown purple pitcher to make some homemade iced tea. I can't help myself from going there sometimes; we wanted so much for you. Those things may sound silly to some people, but you were just getting started with your life. After 7 years of college, 4 undergrad and 3 grad, you were working in your field and on your own. This all just stinks, so much lost to you, me, to all of us. But then I remember, you telling me, you had a beautiful life, you were given every opportunity. You tell me you loved your life, and your family and were so thankful for all of it. You were thankful we were parents first and friends after you were grown. You were thankful for rules and boundaries and realized they were all because we loved and wanted what was best for you. You were thankful for raising you and your brothers in the church and sharing our faith with you. You were thankful for the sacrifices we made for you, Kyle and Garrett. You loved how we taught you to stand up for your beliefs, modeled integrity, hard work and did our best to instill good morals and values to you and your brothers. I am so thankful for you, for every day, every moment, every hug, kiss, text, phone call........ but in reality.... I wanted more....for you, for me, for everyone. You should have had more Amanda, so much more---more life, more laughter, more love. Love you Meh, Mum😘